Managing Chronic Pain as a Parent

Being a parent of small children comes with its own set of challenges, without even considering how complicated it can become to deal with those challenges while also trying to manage chronic pain. Juggling the demands of young children while trying to manage your own health requires patience, perseverance, and a whole lot of grace.

As a mom with toddler twins and a very demanding 8-year-old, who also has lived with the debilitating chronic pain of endometriosis for the past two years, I have a few pointers and snippets of advice that have gotten me this far in my journey with chronic pain.

Here are fifteen ways to cope with chronic pain while keeping your family life on track – without burying you in guilt over the things you can’t do.

Prioritize & Plan

First things first, you must accept that you cannot do it all. Prioritizing your tasks for the day can help ease the stress. Maybe the laundry can wait until tomorrow if today you’re having a flare-up. It’s okay. Believe me, I know that putting it off can seem overwhelming but it’s not going anywhere, and the kids aren’t going naked. (They have way too many clothes that they don’t even wear anyway remember!) I have found that at least just tidying up the pile of dirty laundry, or putting it somewhere that you aren’t constantly walking by or glaring at helps immensely.

Take care of the things that can’t wait, and meal prep something easy so that you aren’t standing at the stove cooking all evening. Get your tasks done that are prep for the next day so that you aren’t setting yourself back in the morning.

Seek Help

I know how hard it is to ask for help. It is not admitting defeat! It’s admirable!

Whether it’s your partner, a family member, or a close friend, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Delegating tasks is not a sign of weakness; it’s a smart strategy to keep your family running smoothly.

Honestly, it has been my experience that loved ones are happy to help because it is so hard to watch someone you love struggling and in pain and not know how to help. It is a way to help them, help you. When you think of it that way, it doesn’t make you feel so guilty.

Medication Management

It is so important to stay on top of your meds! Keep a strict schedule for your medications. Utilize alarms or apps to remind you. Managing pain effectively can give you more energy to spend with your family!

Stay Active

This may sound counterintuitive, but gentle exercise can actually help reduce chronic pain. Think of activities you can do with your children, like a slow walk in the park or light stretching. You can search for yoga with kids videos, there are a ton to choose from and the kids will love doing it with you. Beneficial to everyone involved!

Mindfulness & Meditation

Practice mindfulness or meditation to help manage stress and pain. Again, make it a family activity. Look up meditation and breathing technique videos that you can all do together.

Healthy Eating

A well-balanced diet can help manage chronic pain. Try to focus on foods that are non inflamitory! Involve your kids in meal planning and preparation for some quality family time (and to subtly teach them not to expect gourmet meals every night).

Set a Good Sleep Routine

Good sleep is crucial. Try to establish a routine that works for you and stick to it, even if it means being in bed by 9 pm. Being in constant pain is exhausting. You need to make sure that you are getting your rest when you can.

Create a Support Network

Connect with other parents who are dealing with similar issues. Sharing experiences and tips can be incredibly uplifting. Plus, it’s nice to talk to someone who understands why sometimes just getting out of bed is a win. Living with chronic pain can be so hopeless and lonely. It is imperative that you have a community and support network to turn to who can relate. Just search them on Facebook there are so many, and some that are illness specific.

Be Open with Your Children

Depending on their age, explaining your situation to your children can help them understand why mommy needs a little extra rest sometimes. As hard as you try you can’t always hide your pain from your kids, and it is better to explain to them what is going on than them being confused and scared if what they dont know.

Find Hobbies That Don’t Exacerbate Pain

Look for activities that allow you to relax without causing more pain. This could be something as simple as reading or as rewarding as gardening. Finding these activities also helps to divert some of your attention off the pain as well.

Use Pain Relief Aids

Don’t shy away from using items designed to help, such as orthopedic mattresses, heating pads, tens units, or ergonomic chairs. Remember, it’s not “giving in”; it’s smart management. I have another post with specific product recommendations that you should check out as well!

Self-Care Is Crucial

Self-care isn’t selfish. Taking time for yourself to recharge, whether it’s a bubble bath or a quiet moment with a cup of tea, can help you become more resilient and a better parent.

Give Yourself Grace

You need to remember to give yourself grace. Some days will be better than others. On tough days, remind yourself that it’s okay not to be perfect. Your children don’t need perfection; they just need you.

Pursue Professional Guidance

Consulting with healthcare professionals who specialize in pain management or mental health can offer new perspectives and strategies to cope with chronic pain. They may introduce you to treatments or exercises that you hadn’t considered before and many specialize in non-opiod treatments so you don’t have to fear becoming dependent on a medication.

Setting Realistic Goals

Lastly, it’s easy to become overwhelmed by the long list of daily tasks. Break down your tasks into smaller, more manageable goals. Celebrate each achievement, no matter how small, to acknowledge your progress. This approach not only helps in managing your day-to-day activities but also boosts your morale by reinforcing that you’re capable of overcoming obstacles step by step.

Incorporating these strategies into your daily routine might not eliminate your chronic pain, but it can certainly make it more manageable, allowing you to enjoy the precious moments with your family. Always remember, laughter is the best medicine. If you can find humor in the chaos of family life and the trials of dealing with chronic pain, you’ve already won half the battle. Your effort to maintain balance and seek joy amidst challenges sets a powerful example for your children about resilience and the strength of the human spirit.